Just do it
The hardest part is the first step. How universally applicable this is. It comes as a surprise though in those moments.
I've wanted to write a book since I was in high school. I even made a diy ghetto book when I was in elementary school, bindings and all.
The story was terrible in the funniest way but I treasure it, I remember all the feelings I had when I wrote them.
But now I am in my late 30s and have never published anything.
I have notebook after notebook full of words and compositions. Stories, poems, thoughts and everything in between.
I've lost count how many notebooks there are (as sometimes I write in multiple at once).
I've finally realized what it was all these years... fear.
I've been letting fear stop me.
The lesson of fear applies to many. In my case, as a writer, putting something in "ink" is the all-too-final final rendering.
"All writing is re-rewriting" wrote Oscar Wilde.
And building upon his revelation, I feel as though nothing I put down on paper is bad or wrong, so long as I can re-write them.
But publishing? That is where words are
Hardeneded,
petrified,
frozen.
No more changes, no more edits. All mistakes and subpar work cemented for all to see.
For all to see.
I can't tell which is more horrifying,
not being able to re-write my works of word or having my mistakes become permanent publically.
One of the lessons I've been learning, is that I need to let go of perfectionism.
The next step in the progress of anything, is to actually do it, no matter the condition of the quality that is subjctively graded.
There needs to be a patient zero... or at the least a dry run.
Otherwise, nothing will ever Become something. Nothing will get built, made or created.
And creating, ah that is the thing I've forgotten.
The process of writing, though integral to the writer, is invsisible to the reader.
To the reader, what is created is all that matters.
So becoming frozen is actually the attainable form
that finally allows it to sparkle and shine to the world.
It becomes.
Only existing due to the work of our very hands and mind
creating
my creation
my art
in my chosen form of medium
and so I write this in notepad, with no spellchecker, no observance of proper grammar,
no colors or emphasizable words.
This year Ordinals came alive on Bitcoin and with it the absolute freedom of public speech.
Censorship has been put out. YAY!
For whatever we say on the blockchain, will remain on the blockchain
for all to see,
whether they want to or not,
despite the content or nature
despite quality
taste
religion
politics
race
of anyone.
At first, I only Wanted to capitalize on the first wave of the Ordinals movement.
I have early inscripted NFTs, images of a collection to put out and more.
Today though, in my musings, I realized what I Needed to do was
conquer my Fear,
to actually Do,
and by way of, create/achieve
something that is truly Me.
Because after one steps on her fear,
what could be a more exhilerating canvas than that of complete freedom and eternal viewership?
And the cost? Just gas fees.
(which is such an odd sentence to say)
There is no gatekeeper, no heirachy to go through.
We drive on a rode with no tolls or hidden elevators to go through.
Ordinals, is an (almost) free way to publish to the masses for ev verrrr.
So exciting...
So despite my hesitations and fear and mistakes and work of the letter grade F,
I write and I inscribe
my words
without checks or much thought,
likely full of mistakes
of embarrasment
but yet of pride
to the blockchain.
February 14, 2023
-DD